A New Purpose (Snape, Dumbledore)

[slashluv18]

A New Purpose
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 616
Summary: The most painful moment for Severus is learning of Lily's death.

Lily was gone, and it was his entire fault. If he hadn't told the Dark Lord what he heard of the prophecy, Lily might still be alive. If she had just ran, she might still be alive. But no. Lily was a brave, beautiful, idiotic Gryffindor. Of course she didn't run. If she had run, if she had abandoned her child, Severus wouldn't have loved her as much.

Severus didn't cry. It had been years since he cried and he wasn't about to start now. He did take a wand and in a fit of anger, used it to lacerate everything Lily had ever given him. He knew he'd probably regret it later on, knew that he'd regret losing the last things he had from her, but it was something Severus felt like he had to do.

As he lost himself in Firewhiskey, his mind tumbled through all of his memories. He remembered meeting her for the first time. Despite having an absolute horrible sister, Lily had been so vivacious. So naturally charismatic. She had been his only friend at Hogwarts. His fellow Slytherins had never been friends. They were simply allies. He had dreams of one day marrying the girl of his dream, but because of one mistake, one slip of the tongue born out of his utmost humiliation, she dumped his friendship, no matter how many times he apologized, and chose Potter. She married him and had his son.

Severus tried to drink away the memories, but he wasn't successful. Her wonderful smile and most amazing eyes kept flashing through his mind, and he knew he'd never see either one ever again, at least not on her face. He had heard that her son shared her eyes. Unfortunately, they were going to be set in the face of James Potter.

Dumbledore showed up the next day, interrupting his bitter thoughts. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself, Severus?"

"Leave me alone." Severus would normally never talk to Dumbledore like that, but he didn't seem to have a filter on his brain right then. Must be all of the Firewhiskey.

"Aren't you at all concerned by her orphaned son?"

"No." The statement was absolute.

Dumbledore's eyes softened marginally. "The wards will be in effect tonight, but you can check up on young Harry before that happens."

Severus smiled sardonically. "I'd rather swallow broken glass."

"Suit yourself, Severus. But think about poor Lily and what she would have wanted." With a twinkle in his eyes, he left.

Severus tried to ignore Dumbledore words. He really did. But when he found the slip of paper with an address written on it in Dumbledore's familiar scrawl, he just couldn't.

He found himself across the street from Petunia's house. He couldn't believe Dumbledore had put Harry Potter there. What was the crazy old coot thinking? Dumbledore must have known how much Petunia Evans hated magic as a child, and that hatred probably has grown since then.

He got even angrier when he saw the infant sleeping in a basket on a cold November morning. Hopefully the basket at least had a warming charm on it.

He watched as the door opened to reveal Petunia. He winced as she shrieked for her husband. He saw the open disgust they felt for Harry Potter and knew Lily's son wasn't going to have a happy or easy childhood. Hopefully it would build character in him at the very least.

Severus knew he had to stop drowning his sorrows. He now knew he had a new purpose in his life. For his beloved Lily, he was going to protect Harry Potter, no matter what it cost him. Even if it was his life.